I’m having trouble writing today. Hi, world. It’s been a while since I’ve been at the blogging thing, in major part because I’ve been working on my MFA and feverishly writing as much poetry as possible. Also because life has gotten busy, because I write for work, etc, etc.

But today, as in most days, I woke up early, made coffee, and sat down to read poems before working on my own, and after a while I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t think words on the page. I found myself scrolling through newsfeeds, again and again shocked/horrified/saddened by what’s going on in my state, and in the world at large.

Here’s a run-down:

• Earlier this week, bombings in Brussels, Belgium killed many.
• #Drumpf was carted out across major news syndicates, spouting his bigotry, xenophobic sweeping statements, and general inarticulateness.
• And, yesterday, the state I live in (NC) passed a bill through its Congress that would allow people/businesses/organizations to discriminate against members of the LGBTQIA community, and repeal a more local ordinance protecting the rights of trans people to use the bathroom that best suits their needs.

I’m so fed up with all this. Each day, the world seems like a scarier place. Each day, America seems like a scarier place, like the fucking Twilight Zone, and I want to be all zen and love and light and shit about it, but instead I keep getting riled up. And I keep not being able to write what I want – that is to say, new poems – which is unimportant in the grand scheme of things but desperately important to me.

I think about writing politicos pieces, and at times I have, but they fall so short. I feel much about these events; I have no distance.

It’s a bit of a rant today but, at the moment, that’s all I have.

2016!

I’ve a new site coming soon – new name, more content, etc. etc. Stay tuned!

 

LP

Hey World (and a new poem!)

It’s been a while! Suffice it say that the MFA is going well; life is, well, life (with all its ups and downs); and I am getting very good at knitting.

After months of waiting, I’m super thrilled to say that my poem “Burning Pine” is up at Deep South Magazine, which you can read in the link if you’re so inclined.

In other poetic good news, “Eight-Ball” was selected for inclusion in plain china, which is an annual anthology compiled of selections from undergraduate literary journals across the country (big deal). Some of my Colonnades colleagues/writer-friends were also chosen, so we’re a happy bunch with that.

Went to a fantastic multi-genre workshop this past fall on turning emotional landmines into literature, which generated a ton of new material for me. And I’m learning about teaching creative writing, as I’ll be an instructor in a few short months.

AWP is coming up in Minneapolis this April. So excited for that!

And that’s the news on the creative front.

http://deepsouthmag.com/2015/01/burning-pine/

What I’m bad at…

• Washing the last late-night snack plate or beverage cup
• Folding the laundry once it’s dry
• Properly alphabetizing my books
• Compartmentalizing my emotions
• Vacuuming
• Cooking for just myself
• Sinking the last cup in beer pong
• Falling asleep with first strategically sprawling over 85% of the bed
• Holding a poker face of any kind, for any reason
• Tolerating chipper morning people before my coffee
• Being a chipper morning person after my coffee
• Really cleaning all the coffee grounds out of the French press
• Replacing the aluminum foil under the burners
• Anything that involves plastic wrap
• Not finishing the whole bottle of red wine
• Tanning
• Being outside in summer without figuratively melting
• Walking while doing basically anything else
• Answering stupid questions
• Dealing with spiders, bugs, and other creepy crawlies
• Making deals with the spiders so they’ll deal with the other creepy crawlies
• Judging myself about the fact that I’m trying to make deals with spiders
• Apathy
• Unpacking completely
• Keeping less than four pairs of shoes by the door
• Being patient
• Folding fitted sheets
• Waking up when the room is still dim
• Letting go of absolutely anything I care about
• Transitioning between screen-reading and book-reading
• Following recipes
• Packing without forgetting one or two crucial things
• Airport reunions (which are wonderful, but what goes where? How do I find my person in the 57000 airport people? How soon do I run to them? So many concerns)
• Beating around the bush
• Staying calm when my overactive imagination goes into overdrive

So, June happened…

Please excuse me (which I say as much for my subconscious as for you, whomever or whoever hasn’t stopped reading).

This seems to be the summer of I keep not writing, which is both okay and not okay. What am I thinking? I need to write more! But then the whole MFA thing, writing all the time thing, starts in just a few weeks…and so it is inside my head.

Oops…MIA

Realizing I seriously have been MIA for over a month…

May was crazy. I graduated from college, injured myself, took tons of pictures, had about a million and a half ups and downs…and am currently living at home for the summer before moving into my own apartment and starting grad school in the fall. I need to write more. I need to read more. And I need to work more. Here’s to quite a busy summer, and I’ll work on actually being on here a bit more regularly. =)

2013 in review

So, this is cool. The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for my blog! I kind of like seeing it. Also, I’ve utterly failed at writing more. All of my apologies, y’all.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,000 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 50 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

NaBloPoMo

Also known as I failed at writing one blog post a day. Oops.

Also also known as, my creative drafts are due tomorrow, my critical literature paper draft is due Monday, and I’m off to New York all weekend for an Irish Studies Conference!

 

What I Learned From My Mother – Julia Kasdorf

I learned from my mother how to love
the living, to have plenty of vases on hand
in case you have to rush to the hospital
with peonies cut from the lawn, black ants
still stuck to the buds. I learned to save jars

Crazy, happy, and utterly unashamed.

Easter morning in Edinburgh was the strangest Easter I’ve ever had, simply because I’ve always been at home. In a hostel room with nine other girls, there were no Easter baskets, no family coming over to dye eggs. So it felt very…different, to be honest. Very different.

I meant to go to church at a cathedral followed by brunch with some of the girls, but my first headache in a while changed my mind. There was a lovely little Episcopal church right beside the hostel, so I slept in for a while before getting up and walking a few meters over to their door. The service was quite long, but nice. I haven’t been to many church services while I’ve been abroad (though I was wandered through lots and lots of churches), so it felt good to attend an actual service.

Afterwards, several members of the congregation invited me downstairs for coffee and cake but, as I still wanted to meet the girls, I had to decline. We met at a lovely restaurant with a vintage feel called Spoon and brunched on banana almond pancake (so good) and tea served in unique, vintage cups and teapots. It was exactly my cup of tea! Unfortunately, afterwards most of the others had to go work on papers – absolutely NO fun! – but I wandered around a used bookstore, picking up a collection of Yeats, and around the city for a while before going back to our hostel. Everybody was camped out in the “posh lounge” (actually the name of one of the lounges) and the internet room because the service was better there, and I ended up falling asleep on one of the couches for a few hours! When I woke up, we discussed dinner plans, and Maddy and I went to check out some of the street vendors before meeting the rest of the girls at Biddy Mulligan’s.

We had the best time at Biddy’s! The seven of us girl cut up and played cards after dinner (a delicious bean burger and chips) and, in a revised version of Kings, I was nominated as “Most likely to marry someone at least ten years my senior,” and “most likely to get arrested/deported while abroad,” which cracked me up. It also got me thinking about how much I’ve changed since, well, high school I suppose. How much has changed since then, period.

Anyway, dinner lasted for hours so we headed back to the hostel afterwards, got showers, and packed for the morning since we’d be checking out before going on our Hairy Coo Tour. Unfortunately, someone pulled the fire alarm at 4 AM! We were all so startled and groggy, muttering expletives and we grabbed coats and shoes. We weren’t really sure what was going on – the whole hostel didn’t really know what was going on – and by the time we got out of our room the hallway and stairwell were full of other guests in various states of undress. A few minutes later, one of the guys who worked the desk came out shouting that someone pulled the alarm, they were going to throw that person out, and for the rest of us to go back to bed.

Ooph. So the rude awakening was less than fun, but it definitely justified my large Starbucks coffee and chocolate muffin before getting on the Hairy Coo bus, Dolly!

Hairy Coo tours are actually this awesome, tip based tour system. Our guide, Donald, took us to castles, through the Scottish highlands, and to visit several hairy coos, or adorable hairy cows!

This is Heather, the Hairy Coo.

Aren’t they the cutest?