Earlier today I was thinking about my dad and all the things we’ve shared over the years. I’d been staring at the page for a while and I couldn’t think of where I want to start. So I did what any procrastinator of this technological age does: I got on Facebook.
Before you know it I was sifting through friends, the way you do when you’re bored and curious all at the same time. It’s strange to think of how many people have faded in and out of my life over the years – the past couple years, really. There are people I thought would always be around who have simply stopped responding. There are people who promised they’d always be here for me, guys I trusted enough to get close to, loved dearly…they’re gone now.
I wish we’d all say what we mean. When people don’t respond for months, then pop back into your life (it doesn’t happen often, but it does happen) they have a million and one excuses why they didn’t answer. They say they haven’t heard from you in ages. But there’s no way they didn’t get every single one of the calls, texts, Facebook messages and wall posts. Some got through. They say that they’ve been busy. But I’m busy too, and a quick response via Facebook required the absolute minimum effort when I see that you’re already on.
Sometimes we intentionally ignore people.
I feel like I don’t understand that, then I wonder how much I do it in my own life, how much I decide it’s easier not to talk, not to respond, and then it’s been months. And, more importantly, why have I decided do that to people who do care about me while I try desperately to reconnect with those who would clearly rather have our friendship dissipate?
Why can’t we just tell people we’re no longer interested enough in them to put effort into maintaining a relationship? Why can’t we just say, as childish as it is, “I don’t want to be friends anymore”?
That’s what it is, this studied ignorance of attempts at connection.
It’s as though, somewhere along the way, something happened and we decided that person wasn’t worth keeping up with.