So, apparently I do this thing. It was pointed out to me the other day by a friend who just so happens to love giving unwanted advice but, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was kind of true.
In his words, “You care about your close friends the way most people only care about their significant others.”
Apparently this mentality of mine is the cause of all sorts of problems in my personal life. Especially with platonic – platonic platonic PLATONIC – relationships with very dear friends of mine who happen to not have the same anatomy as I do (Can you tell I’m a little frustrated at the moment?).
Anyway, I was thinking about all of this, which was sparked by a text in which I said that I missed someone, etc. etc., and I think that, unfortunately, this friend of mine is right. I get very fond of people. What can I say? I like people (most people). And when I get very fond of someone and we actually connect on some level and become very good friends, perhaps what my friend said is true. At some point, whatever title you place on the relationship becomes irrelevant: I just love that person. And it’s not romantic love or familial love, and maybe it’s not even platonic love anymore. I think it might actually be the closest I get to agape, unconditional love.
I think that explanation might actually explain my strangeness when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
It could certainly explain my hyper-abnormal relationships with exes and how I’m able to rationalize everything (or nearly everything) with them in spite of our crazy, crazy histories and not going batshit crazy about all of it. I guess.
It all makes some kind of weird sense in my head.
Does anyone want to weigh in on this? Platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex? The legitimacy of caring for so many people like that (ie. is it actually a reasonable statement to make about someone)? Because I’m a little curious if this makes me an unstable sort of person, or if this means that I’m deranged, in some way.