Knowing is Good Enough

Alright, this is going to be decidedly un-study abroad related. That’s fine. After all, this has been my blog for a lot longer than I’ve been in London.

So I recently watched another movie where the fight between the two people who are supposed to be involved romantically centers purely on tension over the fact that one does not behave the way the other wants them to. Not in a controlling-your-behavior kind of way, just in a “you don’t act like you care about me, so I’m gonna pitch a hissy-fit until you get it together and act like you mean it.”


This is what our relationships have come to?

Knowing is good enough.

People have baggage. Hell, everyone has baggage they drag through life. Some more than others. Even when you come to terms with it, what life’s tossed your way has shaped you. To think that it hasn’t is probably one of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever heard.

Because everyone brings their own, unique shit along with them, everyone approaches relationships differently. People act on their emotions – the whole crazy, inexact range of them – differently.

So why on God’s green earth would we expect everyone to show their affection in relationships in the exact same way?

Knowing is good enough.

I’m so tired of these fights, real or fictitious, about this. If you know someone cares, what else matters? Actually…if you care, what the hell else matters? This whole “love” shindig is supposed to be unconditional, isn’t it?

I feel like I’m leaving out the articulation of some crucial connect-the-dots piece of this, but I’m trying.

So, point #1: If you love someone, why in the world does it matter if they love you back? That’s just a bonus. For whatever reason, you have a connection than enables you to care for another human being in a deep and inexplicable way. That’s awesome. That’s beautiful. Celebrate being alive and knowing what you’re capable of. Real love is pretty awe-inspiring, I think.

Point #2: Supposing you’re actually lucky enough to have come into the world AND fallen down this crazy rabbit-y hole of love AND not only do you experience it, but someone else actually experiences it with you, for you. WOW. Don’t you just know it? Can’t you just tell? It’s not that hard to gauge in people, even the reserved ones. It isn’t, I swear. So if they love you and they know it, and you love them and you know it, and you’re so much more exponentially lucky that you get to spend regular amounts of time with this other person…

what could you possibly have to complain about?

Knowing is good enough.

Hell, knowing that you’re capable of that kind of love – even when it doesn’t work out – is good enough. I’m not trying to be a royal prick about it but this is, in my experience, very true. And if I can do that, if I can know in my gut that it was beautiful and great and – oh, so what that it didn’t work out – it was still this awesome experience that brought a bit more magic into the world, then people in functional relationships really ought to be able to get down off their high horses and revel in the joy that it even exists. Knowing it’s working, knowing it’s reciprocated…well that sure as hell ought to be enough.

Who cares what you act like. Who cares what they act like (Barring, you know, violence and such.)

Grow up. Life and love are so much more beautiful than questioning and worrying over why someone doesn’t act the way you want them to in your relationship. It’s quite simple, so no need to worry about it any more: THEY HAVE DIFFERENT BAGGAGE THAN YOU. They react to life differently than you, or in ways that maybe aren’t your absolutely perfect image of a doting partner.

Dear goodness, grow up.

After all, everyone forgets that Icarus also flew.

Knowing is good enough.


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