Life has imploded.
Well, not literally.
Anyway, with that being said I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off since the beginning of this month. I’ve got TONS to do in the next few weeks (which I am totally willing to do, because August is going to be awesome, but I am not quite used to being this stressed out in the summer!).
Ooph. Not writing near as much as I did last summer. This is sad. =(
However, in submitting things and such, I’ve been tweaking older pieces. So I’ll leave you with a slightly edited, Unattended Funeral…
I didn’t go to your funeral, a year ago
today. All I can think is how I want
to ask forgiveness from your corpse
for failing to show up, to pay
my respects, to cry with everyone else
when they lowered your coffin into cold December
ground. I can’t remember what excuse I gave myself
for why I didn’t plan to go, but I do remember
how you used to jut your chin
upwards, in some kind of teenage-boy’s salute
as we passed in the school hallways;
how every single pair of the jeans you wore
had at least one hole
in at least one knee; how you gave yourself third-degree burns
and got stuck in a wheelchair
for a month when we were in ninth grade
because you threw kerosene on a bonfire
after the men’s soccer team won 7-2.
We were less than friends but more
than acquaintances, whatever that means. So it’s strange
to think about you every day, when I saw you
maybe once after the cap-and-gown affair of graduation. I can’t help
but wonder why that is, why I mull over your death
like some strange piece of a currency
I’m not familiar with. Your funeral –
would going there have fixed this? And
what does it mean to let go, and
how does one get closure, exactly, and…
watching the people you know die –
is that what it means to grow up?