What I’m bad at…

  • Washing the last late-night snack plate or beverage cup
  • Folding the laundry once it’s dry
  • Properly alphabetizing my books
  • Compartmentalizing my emotions
  • Vacuuming
  • Cooking for just myself
  • Sinking the last cup in beer pong
  • Falling asleep with first strategically sprawling over 85% of the bed
  • Holding a poker face of any kind, for any reason
  • Tolerating chipper morning people before my coffee
  • Being a chipper morning person after my coffee
  • Really cleaning all the coffee grounds out of the French press
  • Replacing the aluminum foil under the burners
  • Anything that involves plastic wrap
  • Not finishing the whole bottle of red wine
  • Tanning
  • Being outside in summer without figuratively melting
  • Walking while doing basically anything else
  • Answering stupid questions
  • Dealing with spiders, bugs, and other creepy crawlies
  • Making deals with the spiders so they’ll deal with the other creepy crawlies
  • Judging myself about the fact that I’m trying to make deals with spiders
  • Apathy
  • Unpacking completely
  • Keeping less than four pairs of shoes by the door
  • Being patient
  • Folding fitted sheets
  • Waking up when the room is still dim
  • Letting go of absolutely anything I care about
  • Transitioning between screen-reading and book-reading
  • Following recipes
  • Packing without forgetting one or two crucial things
  • Airport reunions (which are wonderful, but what goes where? How do I find my person in the 57000 airport people? How soon do I run to them? So many concerns)
  • Beating around the bush
  • Staying calm when my overactive imagination goes into overdrive

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